To My Baby on Her First Birthday

To my baby on her first birthday,

Today, you are ONE. A whole year old. This day, one year ago just before 7 a.m., your dad and I were walking into the hospital—masks on our faces and hope in our hearts—and a few hours later we were holding you. Your birth certificate says you were born at 5:06 p.m., but your mama will never forget hearing a nurse in the delivery room call out, “17:07!”

You are a surprise in every way. But we’ve been most surprised by how we could never imagine our lives without you now. Life before you feels like a distant memory, like you were always meant to join us. And you absolutely were.

You are strong. You have faced a number of obstacles in this first year—from sharing daycare germs with your big sister from almost day one, to battling COVID-19 at just shy of 9 months old. I ask myself a lot, “Of ALL of us to get it, why you?” But looking at you now, no one would ever know. It feels like another distant memory and one I’m glad to let go.

You are independent. You command the room with your speedy crawl and I often find you playing on your own (usually with your sister’s toys) out of sight and perfectly content. I know you’ll soon begin a slow toddle and in a few months’ time you’ll be running through the house.

You are a challenge. It’s true what they say about that second child. You’ve challenged everything I thought I knew about being a mother, and especially about being a working mother. But, my baby, we’ve made it through this challenging year together, and today we also celebrate a year of breastfeeding.

You are dramatic. You are never afraid to let us know how you feel, and as we’ve seen your personality shape in these last 12 months, it’s become clear that you’re going to feel all the feelings. You probably get that from me.

You are peace. The early morning nursing sessions when you look deep into my eyes are held among my most special memories. Thank you for sharing those quiet moments with me all these months.

You are joy. You give us the biggest smiles and the sweetest giggles. You crawl after your big sister and play along with her games, just happy to be included.

 

You are love. I worried my heart couldn’t love two babies—that there wasn’t enough room. But you proved to me it was possible and you were patient as we learned to be a family of four. 

My darling, today you are one year old. To your parents it feels like a chapter is closing—so many firsts that I didn’t realize were also lasts—but to you, a new chapter is beginning. Soon you’ll be too busy to stop and wrap your little body around me for a morning drink. You’ll be talking, walking, running, and playing. But you are and will always be our baby girl, the piece of the puzzle we didn’t know was missing, and one of the greatest gifts we’ve ever received.

Happy birthday, precious girl. I love you.